STL DANCE

First, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for actually taking the time to see if I was okay. The little things like that truly get to me. You guys asked if I was alright at the dance. During the dance, I really didn't know what was wrong with me? I thought I just wasn't 'feeling it.' Idk? But, as soon as I got into the car was thinking about the dance. I thought to myself, 'what was wrong'Here's what I got:1. I thought about Nainoa, like always. He got into STL, and he's going there for high school. It got me all excited (: But, then I started to ask myself questions and I didn't even know at the time. I was asking 'Would Nainoa go to a dance? If he was to see, would he just walk away and pretend like he didn't know me? If he was to say hi to me, would he hug? kiss on the cheek? what? Would he dance with me? Would we be together by that time?' You guys know that all I want is Nainoa, I mean honestly who doesn't? Him.2. Then I started to think about this whole Chandler and Ihi situation. I mean, I love ALL of you guys. You guys are ALL my friends. I feel I'm in the middle of this situation, and I don't know what to do. I just somehow wish I could sneak away from this, and but still there be for you guys.3. You guys know what Chandler told me, & he did apolgize. "You're just jealous because there is no one to sing to you 'Ashley Parts' " Even though he apolgized numerous amounts of times, it still kinda stings. Ya'Know? Why does it sting so much? I understand that he was joking, but the worse part is that he's right. I am jealous. I'm so jealous that Ihi has a boy that thinks she's the world. I just wish that Nainoa thought I was the world to him, but I'm just a friend.
4. My family. My dad insists that I go see a therapists. But, he just doesn't understand that my friends are my therapists. I'm getting irratated with him, but he constantly talks about it. All I want to tell him is that, 'You know that we're all hurt? Why do you continue to bring it up? Why do you want to remind me of everything that happened? I already know what happened, I was there.'
5. I have a tendency to overanalyze things. We all know that. I keep on kicking myself in the ass for constantly asking questions, seeing what's the answer. When there doesn't have to be.
Again, I wanted to thank you for always being there for me. To actually notice that something was wrong with me, and take action towards it.