Realization.

I've come to a point in my life where I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. Its kind of like I'm just sitting and watching my life pass by me. I don't know if its because basketball has been taking up my time, but its weird for me to just watch and not take part in my life anymore.

These past couple of weeks have been really good. I felt that I was connecting with my best friend again. I felt that I was still the one you would want to talk to you at night. Granted, I probably may not be your best friend anymore but it was something and I couldn't complain about. Because of what happened between us, I've been trying to not depend on you so much. To not depend on a phone call every night. To not depend on someone being there to listen to me, talking about my day. To not depend on someone being there to sing with me. But, these couple of weeks have started to make me dependable again. To depend on you to be there for me. To depend on that phone call or maybe, just maybe, a text message.

I know this probably sounds childlish and stupid but I don't know how else I feel. I'm sorry if you think that I'm a vulnerable little girl. But, I want my best friend back. The old you back.