I'll never be good enough.

Fuck it, whatever. I'm tired of love. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of hoping that I would be that 'special girl' to somebody. I'm tired of telling myself that the one guy will come my way, I just have to be patient. Bullshit. I'm tired of people telling me that I have to wait for love to find me. I don't want to wait anymore.I've been hurt so much, I lost count. I used to wait for 11:11 and wish for love. Well, I know that you can't wish for love because it won't come true. No matter how many times I wish or how hard I hope, it'll never come true. Before, I would pray to God that he bring me somebody my way, that will love me unconditionally. I don't pray for that anymore. I pray that God leads me unto the path he wants me to go.I have friends that would come to me for love advice. Don't get me wrong, I love helping them out. But, I don't know what to tell them. I, honestly, don't. I just picture myself in that person's shoes and see how I would feel.I have to admit, I'm not the type of girl that guys would wait in line to talk too. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve a guy to make me smile like no other. I don't deserve a guy to make me feel the way I should. I don't deserve a guy to look at me the way other people do. I don't deserve a guy to make me his girl. I don't deserve shit. I guess all these other girls deserve it. Because they got it.I'm not looking, I'm not trying, I'm not doing jackshit.